Wow, it was a rocky year for the XPT. These are in no specific order. Other inclusions are surely welcomed.

Some Highlights:

1. Arab & Loop's Nazi Hunnies. Mindless devotion to tyranny never looked so beautiful. 560 posts to 4268 views, easily the best ratio ever on XPT.

2. Smartt promises to leave XPT if anyone can guess his avatar. Cassandra calls him out, wins the bet, and Smarrt renegs. Fucking Brazillians.

3. The Girls of Tony Malice's Office.
They're thin, they're fat, they're short...they are every walk of like looking for redemption in porn. God love 'em for tryin'.

4. AC - Life as a fanboy. I don't know where the pictures came from, don't care, it is a memorial to how not to behave, groom, eat, live, anything...it's all just wrong.

5. Alyssa West: 9 month pregnant hooker. We knew late last year that Tony's favorite crackhead Alyssa West had another bun in the oven. We didn't learn 'till later that she was not only soliciting tricks on Craigslist, but (according to Luke) she was doing porn until the day before the baby jumped out and tried to run away. Never mind the inevitable meltdown when Tony and Alyssa hook up on IM, Ally's fellow coathangerless hooker buddy Sammura came in and got a nice smackdown herself.

6. Porns rudest male talent award= Kurt Lockwood. Yes, Curt, we put your name up in the big lights of XPT. You seemed to get a real boner out of that...and where has it gotten you? Two nameless girls come to your defense. Well, at least you(they) typed in mixed cases.

Some Lowlights:

1. ChristianXXX eating cum and doing ass-to-mouth.
Trying to knock one of XPT's best posters "in the biz," this thread showed up like a Crip at a carjacking, and proceeded to exceed the Kate "Porn is Homophobic" thread in the number of responses, if not in sleaze. Christian parlayed this into some free pub in the Village Voice, which has the intellectual value of a peanut, but has a circulation 100x that of the AVN News.

2. make SMARTT a Moderator.
I don't know how or why this idea got started, but I knew it sucked because Ceara's poop-eating fanboy Ben started it. Smartt ate it up like it was a Brazillian penis. He makes the rules...blah blah...within a few months Jamesn and have2cit goaded this child molester into the mother of all meltdowns. Those are the rules, bitch!

3. The straight porn industry is homophobic
I don't really wanna reiterate this one...16 pages (depending on your setup) of the worst drivel ever. Kate managed to lure just about everyone into this one, and also spawned many equally-pathetic spinoff threads, like Does Club Jenna discriminate against bisexual men?, and John Stagliano appears to be a hypocrite. It finally came to and end here.

4. Rog's Neu Wave Hookers review.
As expected, Eon McGay's big film got zero stroke value credits from anyone, which didn't stop AViaNbirdflu's crack staff of asskissing=revenue minions from instantly calling for it to replace Citizen Kane in the pantheon of filmography.

5. What's happening with Courtney Simpson?

Nice Whore Meltdowns:

1. Riley Shy, Criminal Mastermind??
Did she find that check and forget where it came from? Was she really trying to rip off Derek Hay's pimp hand? She promised to re-post the truth about her little financial escapade, but never really got around to it. What really melted her were the XPT characterizations of her stoner, emo-haired suitcase pimp of a boyfriend as a stoner, emo-haired suitcase pimp. In reality he is a certified health club trainer, an aeronautical engineer. I believe you, Riley. I also believe your annual salary on yourMySpace profile, which equates to about
$15,600 per scene you did this year. But with friends such as Tom, Hailey Young and William Hyde, you're in good.

2. I Hate Dakota Cameron
If Smelly Monkey goes after a whore enough, chances are their meth-impaired "fight or flight" response will force a response, and Dakota Cameron's retort was extra special, not only because it was a drugged-up EVAN SEINFELD ALL CAPS meltdown, she had to steal roomie Jenna Presley's laptop and XPT user id to accomplish it. But things worked out well, we got the uninhibited Jenna P as a poster, and Dakota and her "cousin" soon washed out of porn.

3. Cindy Crawford.
I don't know what it is with the SM and Cindy. By all accounts she is a hardworking part of the porn community. But every time the SM gets a kick into her midsection, it's followed by a response which indicates her repudiation of said attack, but an admission that, at the end of the day, she takes cum on the chin for cash.

4. Kara Bare Exclusive Scar Pics.
Nice...just before they are ready to laud Kara for being such a good new whore...she runs off into a hissy fit temper tantrum and slits her wrist with the wrong end of a butter knife...surely an attention grab. Luckily enough...Kara was nice enough to show up at JM to gleefully photograph the healing scars of doom.....

Good stuntcock meltdowns:

1. Leah Luv beats up on 3SomeBody.
3SB is a great ADT whorette. Unfortunatly , when she stumbled into the Cage for a snipe fight with Leah Luv...Little Miss Braces showed up with with some firepower. BTW...3SB...come back...we love ya babe...come on and join the fun!

2. Ryan Knox. The preview trailer of Reverse Bukkake 2 had Ryan defending himself to a certain degree...before finally giving up. Props, Ryan.

3. Brandon Irons. Any search will recount these.

4. Curt Lockwood. Man, this guy is out there. A two line email melts this guy down into a meth-fueled craze of capitalization for the next hour. God only knows what he is capable of...I'd bank on a new world powerlifting record given a picture of Luscious Lopez and a microgram of PCP.

4. Veronica Jett melts down TJ Cummings.
Apparently TJ Cummings was sending around some creepy e-mails...huh must have been Monday.... I don't know Veronica or TJ...but she beat the boy like a dying beanbag chair and didn't let up; so +1 to VJett.

Best XPT stick fights 2006:

1. Christian vs. Tara.
ChickenMaster summed this one up, "In the right corner we have CCCChhhrrristianXXX, 200+ pounds of man pounding baldness. In the left corner we have ssseeexxxxcity, 100+ pounds of whiny turd shit who means nothing.
Winner: Christia3X by unaninous decision.

2. have2cit vs. el glorioso..
"You're a greasy third world donkey" vs. "I throat-fucked your Mom." In true classic XPT "You'll have to kill me first" style, this one wound up one night at just after midnight...and started right back up just after eight in the morning.
Winner: no one, it was too damn funny. Turned "gagfactor" into a verb.

3. Cassandra vs. Rob Longshot.
An (unfortunate) XPT flash in the pan (not by her own) and an XPT veteran exchange words.
Winner: Cassandra wins, Longshot leaves porn and moves to Florida.

4. jamesn/have2cit vs. Smartt.
Oh man, the precursor to the end...J & H hounded this baby rapist day and night until he threatened to flood the cage with his pre-programmed festival of shitty threads...they did...he did...we're still here.
Winner: Smartt laying dead in genpadova.com

5. Leah Luv vs. Threesomebody.
Could anyone have accurately anticipated the stick fight to come between porn's nicest ADT shill "Threesomebody" and porn's best brace-face stickifghter...Leav Luv!
Winner: Leah Luv in TKO.

Some really bad posters this year:

1. Smartt
2. Kate/Arthur
3. Pornactorforhire
4. William Hyde

Who Needs To Come Back:

1. Smiling Arab
2. 2cums
3. Maged
4. CAOH

Willie, well done! Amazing work!

i gone call your mom she give me the english leason classes but every session end me gagfactored her

Still one of the funniest things I've read here.

Much props to Willie D! Great list but isn't it a tad bit early for a 2006 retrospect? I'm hoping that December will bring us some more lowlights/highlights.

One of my favorite threads of this year is www.collegegirlspooping.com. First we have Eddie Normous bumping an obscure 2-year-old thread because the posting is being read by an anonymous user. But the fun really starts when Ceara Lynch offers us two gems:

1) An e-mail written by a poop-loving fan of hers which is so long even Da Burglar would be put to shame. Here's a quote:

Quote:

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...it is no lie or exaggeration when i say i've consumed in excess of two tons of FEmale excrement over the past 42 years...

---

Interesting at least...

2) But the real highlight is the following picture which is my favorite XPT pic of 2006. 'Nuff said!

My faith in humanity dies a little bit every time I see that fucker in his red maid outfit.

Eating jelly has lost its innocence.

That pic is seriously fucked up. I both gain and lose respect for Ceara every time I see it, which, incidentally, is always one more time than I want to see it.

Wow...does being included in the highlights on this board count towards my fifteen minutes of fame? Fourteen minutes, fifty nine seconds to go.

If I am Kurt I'm doing a great job either time traveling or cloning myself since my last post was when he was at the Viper room. Damn. How talented is that?

Claire (or nameless girl #1, I guess, only my MySpace knows for sure)

I hate to dissapoint you,but I'm not Kurt. It would be interesting to see how he could live on both coasts at the same time!! Should I be honored as a new member to be included in this list??


Paula(nameless girl#2)

Both of you bitches are retards, too. He never said you were Kurt- he said you came to his defense. The you/they qualification is a way of addressing you two asses and addressing the forum at large about you.

Most excellent job, Willie D. I give honorable mentions to these threads:

1) Sal MckVey
2) Padova vs Allie Ray

Excuse me but this statement does mean he thought we were KURT!!

Quote:

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Well, at least you(they) typed in mixed cases.

---

he does say you -meaning Kurt..
Paula

I laughed, I cried, I puked in my mouth several times. Overall it was a great first year!

I didn't make the highlights or lowlights. Did everyone forget about the site shutdown and the events preceeding it? Man, I can't catch a break.

Let's not forget Mr. "I'm not racist - I'm being racial" Mypornoreview's antics in 2006. A man who is obesessed with the N-word and Lori Lust, how sad is that?

Check this threads:

What happened to Velocity Von???

Bogus AVN Nomination / All White Interracial? (Has Tony T read the thread yet?)

question for Holly Randall....

Yes, MPR Vs Bishop in the "I have more toys than you, and your people are all thieves" semi finals was a good read. Bishop wins by a full K.O. in round one.

What about the KellywellsRocks fan in the Fan Request forum?

Good stuff.

http://www.xxxporntalk.com//ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=Requests&Number=157913&page=4&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

I'd also like to nominate the thread in which Gypsy/Renfield inadvertently revealed it's true identity while in the throes of a (presumably) heroin-induced meltdown.

That's "Reverse Bukkake 3," dumbshit.

It's all good Ryan.

Ryan Knox being pissed on by street hookers = Comedy Gold

you goddamn micks love fighting with some perverse respect to joyce and seamus, don't you?

Quote:

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Willie, this is a deliberate slap in the face... and you know it. You know for a fact that labelling me the "worst" or at least "one of the worst" posters would have made my dick harder than Goldbach's Conjecture. So, like an insecure little faggot, you dump me in the #4 spot with a mediocre collection of "some really bad posters"! It's just one more not-so-subtle way of calling me unremarkable. But I see through you Willie! I see through you like cellophane on a ham sandwich!... and what I see ain't kosher!

Seriously though, nice work compiling this little year in review. That must have taken a while. You obviously spend a lot of time on this site, and I think that's really cool! Have a drink!

---

Quote:

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You know for a fact that labelling me the "worst" or at least "one of the worst" posters would have made my dick harder than Goldbach's Conjecture.

---

The only thing that gets your anime dick hard are gerbils clawing at your prostate gland.

"Hyde" is an English surname, I forgot that, and it just makes me hate him even more. Wanna see a picture of the Providence hovel he lives in?

I also nominate all Van Piles, Lizard Lips, Keith O'Connor, etc fights.

All threads exposing Martin Del Taco

i was just thinking it was time for someone to make a post like this, so well done willie.

my votes from that list are for burg's riley shy thread and the 3sb/leah luv fight, both of which i find much more hilarious than i probably should.

saratoga beatdown had its moments.

Everytime GUAPO said to King "Your titty so beautiful. Them titty is the apple of this nigga eye." it was a highlight for myself.
Another highlight for me was when the Dominique Swift thread got bumped up one time too many and I received a PM from an entity calling itself "Ms Swift" saying something like "You better let this drop. I could have you killed."

And let's not forget some of those classic photo threads, like that wonderful party where De'Bella got all kissy with that ugly sista. All that needed was some traffic flares and officers waving people away to be the ultimate car wreck.

A beautiful year, worthy of recounting.

Is this one of the early appearances of Darraj o'ForJa?

Isn't the Alex avatar a bit ironic given the current prevalence here of posts from Tovarich Panzerovskii.