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LizardLips
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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Reged: 12/15/05
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10 Reasons Why AVN AWARDS SUCKED!
#132376 - 01/09/06 10:19 PM
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#1 Somebody fuckin teach Jesse how to hold a fuckin microphone. You could only hear every other word the bitch said because she swung it around so much. Just tell her it's a dick.
#2 The food sucked.
#3 The shitty no-name music acts sucked.
#4 Started way too late.
#5 Ran way too long.
#6 The cheesy metal music the band played in-between awards sucked. They should've had the DJ play there instead.
#7 Larry Flynt speech was the highlight of the show but the greatest porn figure of all time couldn't be heard at all.
#8 Too much Jenna/Randy. What year is this 2006? or 1996?
#9 The boring stage set-up looked like it was designed by a blind three year old.
#10 Whoever wrote the stupid jokes for the presenters to say before they gave out the awards needs to be shot. Whoever thought it was a good idea needs to be shot. Even real hollywood actors sound stupid telling jokes at awards show. What makes you think porn actors are going to sound any less idiotic?
It was b-o-r-i-n-g. No surprises. No longshots. Nothing. OK, MacKenzie Who? But that's a surprise in a bad way. This was AVN just spinnin wheels and blowin opportunities to shine. This show was a big step backwards from the following years. Just watch last years show, then throw in Pirates, then think even more sucky and then you pretty much have this year, Grade C+
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"The pen is mightier than the sword but emoticons are for douchebags."
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Whisker Biscuit
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Sex Slave Trader
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Jeff Steward
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Quote:
#4 Started way too late.
#5 Ran way too long.
Grade C+
The show should be no longer than 3 hours and even thats to long.I also give the show a C+ but only because I liked hanging with the people at my table and getting 2 awards didnt hurt either. 
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all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose
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kimberlykane
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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I HAD A PRETTY GOOD TIME.
I'M COCK SUCKER OF THE YEAR!
MY MOM IS SO PROUD!
KK
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"The Bunny Ranch is trashy and it's trailers. You feel like a ho when you're there." ~Emily
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Crunk-O-Rama
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Brandon Iron Alternate ID
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... getting 2 awards didnt hurt either.
Trophy whore! 
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karanox
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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I had a great time at the show. It was my first one, and I got to sit up front. But I do have some gripes:
1. The food. My money went to what?
2. Not enough girls.
3. Too many fans getting in by buying tickets from hotel staff.
4. Did I mention the food sucked?
5. Lame jokes.
6. Monotonal presenters
7. I love Jenna, but not that much.
8. Please, please, PLEASE NO MORE MULLETS!
9. I thought these people were misfits in high school. Hmmm. Vivid&ClubJenna certainly made up for. YAY! GO TEAM!
10. I didn't get laid, or invited to any kick ass parties.
My husband and I wrote a letter to the folks who run the show, and told them that they need to allow female talent in either for free or for a good price, and cut down on the number of pornies (sort of like Trekkies, but for porn) buying tickets from waitstaff. You have no idea how pissed I was when I got emails the next day from guys I know outside the industry who crashed parties looking for me. Where was I? Home nursing my sore ass feet, and taking a nice plunge in my jacuzzi. Next year, I'm throwing a party at my fucking house.
KN
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Shut up and fuck me. I don't have all day.
http://www.karanox.com
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ben
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Pervert
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I thought the AVN awards would want as many porn performers there as they could get so you shouldn't have had to pay much at all. Also if you were nominated you should get in for free or at least really cheaply and you should get extra tickets. I read somewhere that tickets were $250 ? Is it true they were this much or was this just for fans?
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Monstar
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#3 The shitty no-name music acts sucked.
yeah they were pretty bad. geezus. get whitesnake or something. that punkpop bullshit was brutal and that singer really needed to be shot twice in the back of the head.
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#6 The cheesy metal music the band played in-between awards sucked. They should've had the DJ play there instead.
naw you gotta cut them some slack. they had to play non-copyrighted music.
I did talk to one of them, mark stone and told him if i ever win an award play me off with a little AC/DC "Back in Black" cross your fingers.
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#7 Larry Flynt speech was the highlight of the show but the greatest porn figure of all time couldn't be heard at all.
...yeah..
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#8 Too much Jenna/Randy. What year is this 2006? or 1996?
double J needed her glasses...that was comedy.
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#10 Whoever wrote the stupid jokes for the presenters to say before they gave out the awards needs to be shot.
yeah did they write them 5 minutes before showtime? christ that was some bad news to sit thru....what was worse was looking back at the prompter and reading the jokes...and yup that's the way they were written..badly
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ContactPornStars.com
TheStarFactoryEnt.com
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Sergio T.
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yeah they were pretty bad. geezus. get whitesnake or something. that punkpop bullshit was brutal and that singer really needed to be shot twice in the back of the head.
I had to sit behind them and listen to their stupidity. Glad they left after an hr. and 20 minutes or so into the show. 
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todhunter
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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#3 The shitty no-name music acts sucked.
Let me be honest: I have not been to the AVN awards the last two years, 2005 and 2006, so my perspective is more historical than current.
The band at the AVN awards SUCKS. They have ALWAYS sucked, they are a tone-deaf garage band that -- if the two main people in the band didn't ALSO PRODUCE THE SHOW -- would have disappeared like a turd down the toilet 20 years ago.
They are awful, dreadful, horrible. I remember when I was assigned to cover their gig at Palladino's on Reseda Boulevard years ago. They had Dyanna Lauren singing with them, one bright light of competence in the sinkhole of wretched awfulness, but the one thing I remembered was when they offered their new CD to anybody who wanted one and NOBODY MOVED TO THE STAGE until some good-hearted soul -- Dasha, I think -- walked up and took one.
In an evening I have referred to as "detention" -- "You don't want to go but you have to, and you are bored out of your skull for three hours" - the band is one of the lowest points.
--t
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tod-hunter.net
Porn. Politics. Mainstream.
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Monstar
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Quote:
Quote:
#3 The shitty no-name music acts sucked.
Let me be honest: I have not been to the AVN awards the last two years, 2005 and 2006, so my perspective is more historical than current.
The band at the AVN awards SUCKS. They have ALWAYS sucked, they are a tone-deaf garage band that -- if the two main people in the band didn't ALSO PRODUCE THE SHOW -- would have disappeared like a turd down the toilet 20 years ago.
#3 was referring to DJquik and the PunkPop band not the house band....
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ContactPornStars.com
TheStarFactoryEnt.com
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sammura
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alt.porn fag
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Reged: 09/03/03
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how come they won't get the line up that performs at the players ball? they had p funk
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porntalk home of the guys who got pushed into lockers in highschool.
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smutspov
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To quote Tim Dog: "DJ Quik can suck my dick"
jheri curl wearing punk ass west coast bitch.
driveby beddy bye 
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"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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sexycity
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Brandon Iron Alternate ID
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Reged: 07/01/04
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Quote:
I thought the AVN awards would want as many porn performers there as they could get so you shouldn't have had to pay much at all. Also if you were nominated you should get in for free or at least really cheaply and you should get extra tickets. I read somewhere that tickets were $250 ? Is it true they were this much or was this just for fans?
If you weren't given a ticket, they cost $250. I do feel that the awards should be industry only, but from a business stand point at 250 times the 3,000 to 4,000 tickets sold (supposedly), I doubt AVN would want to pass on that sort of profit.
If you like smaller crowds, the XRCO Awards are much more intimate.
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Amor est vitae essentia
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sexycity
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Brandon Iron Alternate ID
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I think it would be cool if they had performers from the industry do dance numbers in between awards. Also, the technical AVN Awards could be a separate ceremony held in LA.
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Amor est vitae essentia
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karanox
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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Reged: 01/14/06
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Loc: Las Vegas, NV
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Two guys I know went for free, because they knew someone working the show who got them in.
What hasn't been mentioned was the price of drinks, and the lousy service.
There's always room for improvement. And there are always going to be people bitching. Thomas Keller could have prepared the food himself, and people would bitch about it. Rammstein could have been the band, and people would complain. Franco Dragone could have done the stage show, and there'd be gripes. Face it, people love to bitch.
KN
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Shut up and fuck me. I don't have all day.
http://www.karanox.com
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just book Blood for Blood and have it over with.
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I'll cut off your ears, nose, lips, and I'll stab your fucking face, so for the rest of your life, you'll remember your mistakes
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Mikey Ropucha
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Industry Parasite AKA Wankus
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Loc: Illinois, the Porn Void
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God forbid that the fans (the people whom you "stars" wouldn't exist without) could actually get in. I think that's a pretty shitty statement, or am I just taking it the wrong way?
Quote:
3. Too many fans getting in by buying tickets from hotel staff.
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"Never underestimate the power of low self-esteem" Jeff Steward
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Willie D
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 09/20/05
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Rammstein could have been the band
Nice job, Kara [K]Nox
Buck Dich,
Besilige Dir.
Wenden dein Antlitz ab von mir.
Dein Gesicht ist mir egal.
Buck Dich...noch einmal.
Edited by Willie D (01/24/06 06:57 PM)
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karanox
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Sportswami/AC Cream
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Reged: 01/14/06
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Loc: Las Vegas, NV
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Thanks. And that's "NOX", without a "K", as in Equinox, and the Roman Goddess of the Night. ;-)
Rammstein and that stage show of their's would be incredible. And never mind that Till Landemann oozes primal sexuality. "Du Riechst So Gut" is one of the greatest fuck songs I've ever heard.
KN
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Shut up and fuck me. I don't have all day.
http://www.karanox.com
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