|
asdf
|
|
Quasarman Wannabe
|
|
|
|
Reged: 01/09/06
|
|
Posts: 323
|
|
|
|
the violation of applesaucer
#150589 - 04/01/06 06:34 PM Attachment (193 downloads)
|
|
|
when ceara and i discovered that applesaucer (wicked director david stanley clark and number one lesbian bukkake fan in the whole wide world) lived in los angeles, neither hell nor high water could keep us away.
armed with organic applesauce, we walked several miles in the unrelenting rain (god's tears that two young, formerly innocent girls had sold their souls for spring break) so that we could stand outside applesaucer's home, beseeching him for shelter and advice on how to make it big-time. at the very least, we wanted tips on how to vanquish all women who fake squirting.
unfortunately, he didn't hear us because he is crazy. in order to get the real scoop, i befriended him on myspace and asked hard-hitting questions (sans caps, emoticons, or exclamation marks). he was surprisingly forthcoming.
ON MAKING HIS MOVIES "PERSONAL"
[i have to] be as naked as the actors are, but in a different way.
a porn star will show you everything except who she really is. that part is what they would consider pornographic to show you.
so that's the part i try and find out. but since they ain't givin', i have to.
so the movies become about me, since they don't really have anything to say anyway besides quotes from other movies or who fucked who and who cares?
synopsis: every time you jack off to something applesaucer directs, you jack off to applesaucer's vision.
ON APPLESAUCERS VISION
personally, i have no style. my girlfriend dresses me.
ON "THE REAL" APPLESAUCER
i've accomplished just enough to get by. i'm able to fool people into thinking i'm good at this. truth is, i have no idea what i'm doing. i just make a movie and then i duck.
ON JM PRODUCTIONS AND ASHLEY BLUE:
ASHLEY BLUE IS A FUCKING BITCH WITH NO DAMM IDEAL HOW TO MAKE GOOD PORN! HAVE YOU WATCHED ANY LESBIAN BUKKAKE VIDEOS?? THEY SUCK! TERRIBLE ACTING, TERRIBLE DIRECTING, THERES NO PLOTS, NO REAL SQUIRTING..JUST MINDLESS BORING 5 MINUTE JACK-OFF SEQUENCES THEN COMES THE MIRACLE WATERSPOUTS FOLLOWED BY FAKE MOANING , AND NO STRAP-ON TOYS WHATSOEVER! IS THIS THE KIND OF PORN YOU PEOPLE WANNA CONTINUE TO SEE? TO BUY? TO SUPPORT?? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! SOMEONE NEEDS TO SPEAK UP AGAINST THIS KIND OF INJUSTICE!
I WILL COME BACK AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN...THIS IS ONE INJUSTICE I WILL NEVER LET GO! CHANGE LESBIAN BUKKAKE! GOT IT??
we got it, applesaucer. that's why we're such huge fans.
Post Extras:
|
|
asdf
|
|
Quasarman Wannabe
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 01/09/06
|
|
Posts: 323
|
|
|
|
|
ceara
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Cassandra, you must take over the Monkey Cage. I was toying with the idea of suggesting you as an outside bet, but this post has made my mind up.
Genius... 
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
Quote:
Cassandra, you must take over the Monkey Cage. I was toying with the idea of suggesting you as an outside bet, but this post has made my mind up.
Genius...
I agree...this is a great post, and that picture of Ceara with the lil applesauce cups is fucking hilarious.
--------------------
I'll cut off your ears, nose, lips, and I'll stab your fucking face, so for the rest of your life, you'll remember your mistakes
Post Extras:
|
|
asdf
|
|
Quasarman Wannabe
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 01/09/06
|
|
Posts: 323
|
|
|
|
|
Quote:
Cassandra, you must take over the Monkey Cage. I was toying with the idea of suggesting you as an outside bet, but this post has made my mind up.
Genius...
with monkey's absence, the cage has officially jumped the shark. anyway, everyone knows women are only good for one thing, and it sure as hell isn't penning imaginative and adroit posts
Post Extras:
|
|
JimJaded
|
|
Kurt Lockwood sex partner
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 09/22/05
|
|
Posts: 948
|
|
Loc: tricking blind lesbians in a fish market
|
|
|
--------------------
i don't want YOU to assume i'm being uppity or disrespectful here, but even shit eaters must work within reasonable limits.
Post Extras:
|
|
Paul Reubens
|
|
Industry Parasite AKA Wankus
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/12/05
|
|
Posts: 244
|
|
Loc: Outside the abortion clinic with a coat hanger and a smile.
|
|
|
the cassandra cage 
Post Extras:
|
|
asdf
|
|
Quasarman Wannabe
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 01/09/06
|
|
Posts: 323
|
|
|
|
|
Quote:
the cassandra cage
i'm going to pull a thomas eagleton on all of you motherfuckers, just you wait and see
Post Extras:
|
|
|
|
while I have no idea of the inner workings of the porn politics that would truly make this post funny, I can still say it's well writen 
Post Extras:
|
|
JimJaded
|
|
Kurt Lockwood sex partner
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 09/22/05
|
|
Posts: 948
|
|
Loc: tricking blind lesbians in a fish market
|
|
|
cassandras antics are...well......tiresome
--------------------
i don't want YOU to assume i'm being uppity or disrespectful here, but even shit eaters must work within reasonable limits.
Post Extras:
|
|
Rob Longshot
|
|
Chronic Masturbator
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/22/03
|
|
Posts: 1729
|
|
Loc: Everything for the people, nothing by the people.
|
|
|
ill sign to that
--------------------
Theres a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday.
Post Extras:
|
|
RenfieldGyps
|
|
Porn Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/29/05
|
|
Posts: 4571
|
|
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Trailer County
|
|
|
Quote:
cassandras antics are...well......tiresome
A FUCKIN MEN
Post Extras:
|
|
asdf
|
|
Quasarman Wannabe
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 01/09/06
|
|
Posts: 323
|
|
|
|
|
Quote:
Quote:
cassandras antics are...well......tiresome
A FUCKIN MEN
the caliber of my detractors speaks more accurately to the excellence of my character than any supporter, no matter how candid or genuine, ever could.
Post Extras:
|
|
c62
|
|
Human Garbage
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 07/05/04
|
|
Posts: 1517
|
|
Loc: In the tree outside Gia Jordan's bedroom window
|
|
|
Quote:
Quote:
cassandras antics are...well......tiresome
A FUCKIN MEN
The reason you two bitches don't like her posts are... well... because you two are her two favorite bitches.
--------------------
If cum was concrete, Quasarman would have a four lane freeway going down his throat. - pariah
Post Extras:
|
|
Rob Longshot
|
|
Chronic Masturbator
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/22/03
|
|
Posts: 1729
|
|
Loc: Everything for the people, nothing by the people.
|
|
|
no, see cause i even appreciate monkey, even when he is espousing hate at me... cause he is amusing. cassandra is a one trick pony, she makes the same comment over and over, cannot back up a statement, and then when cornered she runs back to the same tired comment.
--------------------
Theres a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday.
Post Extras:
|
|
RenfieldGyps
|
|
Porn Jesus
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/29/05
|
|
Posts: 4571
|
|
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Trailer County
|
|
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
cassandras antics are...well......tiresome
A FUCKIN MEN
The reason you two bitches don't like her posts are... well... because you two are her two favorite bitches.
Yeah that is exactly why.
Post Extras:
|
|
jimmyd
|
|
ADT regular
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 04/23/03
|
|
Posts: 16
|
|
|
|
|
Quote:
i've accomplished just enough to get by. i'm able to fool people into thinking i'm good at this. truth is, i have no idea what i'm doing. i just make a movie and then i duck.
assuming this is an accurate quote, these are the most truthful words ever to spill out from the mouth of a porn director, myself included.
Post Extras:
|
|
Whisker Biscuit
|
|
Sex Slave Trader
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 11/14/04
|
|
Posts: 1391
|
|
Loc: Down there
|
|
|
Quote:
The reason you two bitches don't like her posts are... well... because you two are her two favorite bitches.
We have a winner. 
They are like 2 retards playing lawn darts.
Post Extras:
|
|
Rob Longshot
|
|
Chronic Masturbator
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 12/22/03
|
|
Posts: 1729
|
|
Loc: Everything for the people, nothing by the people.
|
|
|
actually... so far we have a bunch of geniuses... go back and count, it was 3... not 2.
--------------------
Theres a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday.
Post Extras:
|
|
ben
|
|
Pervert
|
|
|
|
|
Reged: 09/06/03
|
|
Posts: 2028
|
|
Loc: Ceara's bunny cage
|
|
|
Quote:
actually... so far we have a bunch of geniuses... go back and count, it was 3... not 2.
I think 4. I have an IQ of 110 which is above normal. Normal IQ is 100
Post Extras:
|
Previous
Index
Next
Flat
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
