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Willie D
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 09/20/05
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Posts: 7089
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Neu [sic] Wave Hookers Photos
#118423 - 10/14/05 01:18 PM
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Light the match here we go...remember this is alt porn so things have to be misspelled.
First up is "Dirty Harree," apparently related to the Erik Estrada of porn, TT Boi. Here we see Harry putting a lickin' on Joanna Angel, the "Tatoo Joo."
 I guess I'd be angry if I were related to that Puerto Rican, too. Harry is a dead ringer for Izzy from Miami Vice. Remember Izzy, the lazy cubano who spoke like we was from Havana AND Harlan, KY? His character was about as deep as the pock marks on Edward James Olmos' left cheek.
On to the whores. Here's alternacunt Cricket.
 Criquette has the requisite alt.ugly.whore traits: black everything...makeup, clothes, hair, all of which is a front for her towering stupidity. Staring, she ponders a fate worse than death...losing her Doc Martens! Criquette's body mutilation is worse than Janine and Sky Lopez put together. If Gaugin were alive today, he'd get rid of his eyes instead of his ear. Oh any by the way, Cric, is that a piercing on the side of your nose, or should I get out the knitting needles to pop that zit?
This ode to impishness is Riley
 If Plato were alive today, he'd dub Riley his ideal of Vapid-ness. Riley looks like what Liza Minelli WANTS to look like, though I suspect Riley could also kick David Gest's ass. But she's not dumb. Both of her firing synapses know that voltage is the amount of energy in a unit of electric flow, because she and voltage are on good terms. How else do you get that lettuce? Break out the Flow Bee and get to work. And is that a fur she has? Get rid of that now! Did you see how fast those PETA people turned Kate Moss into a motorhead?
Eve Mayfair is asleep, dreaming of all "fabulous" fags on Carnaby Street.
 She has just singlehandedly written the review for this waste of oxygen. And Eve is living proof that not all alterna-sluts are cranked to the bejeezuz on meth...obviously Uncle Harry has slipped her a mickey in hopes of scoring later.
Finally we have the illustrous Joanna (not illustrious)
 Joanna is another Springer-reject type who has picked up the patchouli and set aside down the Salon Selectives. And make no mistake...she's white. The Colonials hung pictures of her in The Old North Church to warn of the advancing British. "One shank if by land...two skanks if by sea." Her shirt reads "as good as it gets." If that's the upper limit, call Dr. Kevorkian and tell him I'm on my way.
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Da Burglar
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 01/02/05
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Posts: 5750
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Loc: 8763 Wonderland
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 ...awesome shit Willie....
....Only thing I dont get, revisiting one of XPT's favorite subject, Fucked Up Tats, is what the hell is the lone cherry doing in the middle of a cloud bank on her elbow? Did I miss an HBO Special? 
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I'm not sick but I'm not well.....
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Bornyo
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 09/23/04
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Posts: 7434
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Loc: Dixie
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Quote:
what the hell is the lone cherry doing in the middle of a cloud bank on her elbow?
I could be wrong but think that's from the videogame "pacman". Why she got it, who the fuck knows.
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" 'sho am good tastin' "
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Willie D
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 09/20/05
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Posts: 7089
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Quote:
Quote:
what the hell is the lone cherry doing in the middle of a cloud bank on her elbow?
I could be wrong but think that's from the videogame "pacman". Why she got it, who the fuck knows.
Looking further up that flaccid armbone, there's some sort of dragon and the underside of some other creature. So I'm guessing that the cherry/tomatillo is some sort of super pill that the GEICO lizard takes to help him slay the dragon. But tatoos are so vague...Jacques Derrida would have a deconstructive field day with this skank. 
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Bornyo
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 09/23/04
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Posts: 7434
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Loc: Dixie
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
what the hell is the lone cherry doing in the middle of a cloud bank on her elbow?
I could be wrong but think that's from the videogame "pacman". Why she got it, who the fuck knows.
Looking further up that flaccid armbone, there's some sort of dragon and the underside of some other creature. So I'm guessing that the cherry/tomatillo is some sort of super pill that the GEICO lizard takes to help him slay the dragon. But tatoos are so vague...Jacques Derrida would have a deconstructive field day with this skank.
I'm sure when you strip all her clothes off, her tattoos tell the "Feel Good Story of the Year"
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" 'sho am good tastin' "
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Toelicker
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Porn Fucking Master
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Reged: 04/21/04
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Posts: 3925
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Loc: CO Springs
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Gauguin can keep his eyes, and van Gogh can keep his ear.
Sad to say, that barring no feet deformities or other unseen blemishes, I'd prolly poke ole' alternacunt. 
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you mean my days having fun while being fundamentally superior to you? - Jamesn
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2cums
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Registered Sex Offender
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Reged: 04/16/04
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Posts: 2427
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Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Who jacks off to this shit? The clinically insane?? 
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" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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GARFIELD
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Kurt Lockwood sex partner
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Reged: 07/23/04
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Posts: 933
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Loc: United States
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WOW...& just to think someone is actually dumb enough to pay these ugly bitches to fuck 
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PORN.....I love this stuff
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 I think Riley Mason is bad-assed!
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Jeff Steward
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Porn Jesus
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Reged: 04/14/03
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Posts: 7290
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Loc: JM Productions
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Quote:
I think Riley Mason is bad-assed!
Jesus who put on her make up,Pamela Peaks?
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all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose
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